#this post crashed the post editor twice... how

[ultimatesoupdemon]

i forgot about this thing I made in Google docs lmaoooo

[gauldheri]

twist and shout

@knightofgalatea (posting it here because the ask editor keeps crashing???)

[ Tangle ] - A curious, heavy blanket has been laid down in an out-of-the-way corner of the ball. On it are rows of circles, separated by color. Accompanying the mat is a wooden board with an arrow pinned to its center, and on this board: four quadrants, each with its own colors and separate labels: Right hand. Left foot. Right foot. Left hand. Supposedly, should you spin the arrow, you must place the respective body part on the matching color on the mat below. Easy, right? Now, add a few more people.

In a much quieter corner of the ball, Ingrid spotted something strange. It was a game, clearly, with different colours splattered around a mat in little circles. A small board with quadrants referring to hands and feet and colours with a spinning arrow at its centre. There was a small group of people milling nearby, and she watched as laughing groups of people stretched and contorted themselves across the mat, struggling to put their hands and feet on different coloured circles at the behest of the spinning arrow. She smiled to herself, watching as the group currently occupying the mat collapsed before moving away to one of the nearby refreshment tables. She supposed this game would be a good test of flexibility and agility. And with how easy it looked, it would be far too fun to defeat someone at this game. She looked around her, surveying the students and knights and faculty dancing across the ballroom floor, milling about the refreshment tables, chattering together in little groups, their masks catching the light like fragments of jewels and gold. But not very far from her she spotted an all-too familiar figure, close enough that she could reach him with only a few steps. “Sylvain!” She called, trying to catch his attention. Which was only the first step, of course. Next she had to find a way to keep his attention, especially when it was undoubtedly focused on the sea of finely dressed women at the ball. And she spotted exactly what would help her when her eyes landed on the brooch he wore. “Look at that game,” she said, gesturing to the colourfully spotted mat. “Care to try? Whoever wins trades brooches?”

"Ah, Ingrid! I've been looking all over for you," Sylvain follows where he is beckoned, up to the games hidden away in the corner. Ah, he recognises this one all too well and can't help but chuckle. "Isn't it in the spirit of the ball that we both trade our brooches? A unilateral exchange isn't actually an exchange."

She seems genuinely excited by the game though, an expression of youthful enthusiasm dons her face. He hasn't seen that one in a long time. Sylvain finds he doesn't have the heart to let her down.

"Why don't we wager something else on it instead? Like if you beat me, I'll take you out for dinner. No expenses spared." Sylvain declares as he straightens out the blanket. What did he want out of this though? It's hard to imagine Ingrid agreeing to hook him up with a pretty lady, yet not only does he not dare to ask, there's something far more important. The joy on her face, he wants to keep it there as long as he can. It was a choice he didn't really have to think twice over. "If I win, we play another round. We're splitting the bill too, deal?"

"Now, let's get started," Sylvain grabs the board, giving the needle a quick spin. It takes him back to simpler times, days when he didn't have to chase after his friends' smiles." "Right foot yellow."

[iinryer]

Hi I tried sending you an ask just now but tumblr crashed so in case it didn’t go through here’s what I said and if it did it was supposed to be on anon 💀 hopefully it was

About your post about the writing this episode I totally agree it was really weird like why have him say the exact same wording twice?? It was like word for word. And I don’t really care ig it was just weird and felt like they didn’t know how to write a show.. the only thing I can think of is that this is a new writer - she’s never written for 911 before (a full ep at least) and her other writing credits seem pretty small. It still should’ve been caught for sure but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yeah idk what was up with this one. it could have been part of having a new writer! but sooooo many people are involved with the making of an episode of television, im just shocked that not a single person was like “hey, he already said that”. like. they have editors for that. the people who cut it all together. and nobody thought that was bad

like it almost felt as though they filmed two different ways to share that information with the intention of using one and then both ended up in the episode. thats probably not entirely the case but that’s what it feels like and it’s WEIRD! especially for so much of the past season being so clipped and insanely pared down, to keep the same thing in there twice just feels baffling to me

[anythinkonprotanki]

Day 3

Tomorrow I'm probably going to post something on YT. (but the same thing I was thinking yesterday lol)

I was thinking about TextureChanger and its future and I need a way to... I asked chat GPT how I could say that and he responded: "I'm trying to get around the obstacle that is preventing our progress." And that's the truth. In those files, we may even find map textures. That would allow us to change the entire map to old! THAT WOULD BE GREAT. But maybe let's go from the start...

Time for some prattle of nerd

I figured out where the hidden textures containing shot effects are. Cause in %appdata%\StandaloneLoader\Local Store I could not find them. But in this folder, some files can't be opened as .jpg so I tried to "repair" them. I downloaded an app to restore broken files and yes. They are shot effects. But why they can't be opened as images? Well... in 1 file there are 2 textures. And this is not the reason why file can't be opened as image. The reason is strange. When I opened file in hex editor before FF D8 (SOI - start of image) there are also 00 00 00 02 00 01 69 00 0B 49 EA 00 01 61 00 01 8F 80 (this is in the firebird file)

And that's the reason why file can't be opened. Cause before of SOI there are strange data. When I delete them file can be opened but it will show you only one image. I said only one image cause in this file you can find FF D8 twice. As well as FF D9 (EOI - end of image). I said about why file can't be opened by the way cause ProTanki can't load and is crashing without this strange data before SOI. Chat GPT generated code for me (hehe) to extract this file to 2 images. And it WORKED. But then I asked him to add also everything before SOI to the third file (I mean this strange data which is needed). And he also generated code that merge data with both images. And ProTanki isn't crashing anymore but it can't load. I mean it can load when I'm merging files from the original but when I save it in photoshop, gimp, ms paint etc before merging and then merge and put into files then it isn't loading. I have idea what caused that but I have no solution right now :D Btw there are no way (for most turrets) to change colors like it was in tanki 2019 (I said 2019 cause then there were a lot of them. I mean shot effects). I will probably make new ones by myself. And that's also cause I can't find shot effects anywhere on the internet xd

So that was a few weeks ago and then I took a break.

Two-week break xD Today I figured out that when shot effect is white/black for rail it isn't changed depending on upgrade level. Btw I wanted to let you in about everything that I'm doing here but right now I'm copying comments from yt and nothing changed.

Let's go once more from the beginning.

I was changing textures in ProTanki right from the start of my journey in PTO. Back then I was doing it by hand, you can see here how to change it by hand: https://youtu.be/P-Klp4X5jXQ I was trying to change skins into XT but I was kind of stupid. btw my every success on TextureChanger comes only from observation and analysis. I'm doing everything by trial and error. Later when I released the first video about changing textures (look up for link) someone asked about the cache for XT. I have these files so I send him it (I have these files from TankViewer app, maybe I'll write about it next time). Then I wondered once more if there a way to change skins into XT. If I remember correctly I thought that colors (gold from XT) can't be applied to normal skin. Proof: https://youtu.be/-A4_V-IfLnk?si=zIDo_WnoDZQ4zMjI&t=473 But I was wrong. I applied skins correctly: lightmap into lightmap, details into details, and details_alpha into details_alpha. It worked. This is the screen that I sent to this guy when I realize that there's a way to change skins: https://imgur.com/a/oEIMXfd But I knew that I couldn't release it like this cause it was too hard to change, and if someone wants to change more skins it would take too much time. I knew what I had to do.

That's how my journey on creating TextureChanger started.

Next time I'll write a further part. Thanks everyone for your attention.

edit: I'm waiting for your questions :D

BTW

That's my best battle from yesterday, but yesterday I forgot to post it xD

This is the best battle today.

So, that's it for today.

28 days left...

[timomaraus]

December 8, 2023

NY Times The 71 Most Stylish People of 2023 (Editor's Note: Despite reading this article very carefully, twice, I could not find my name anywhere on the list. It turns out the Times really is filled with good reporters.)

NY Times E.U. Agrees on Landmark Artificial Intelligence Rules (Editor's Note: Along with climate change, the ability of regulators to keep up with the pace of tech development is the most important issue of the next 50 years.)

NY Times Michigan Teenager Who Killed 4 Students Is Sentenced to Life (Editor's Note: There's the leader in the clubhouse for most ironically phrased headline in 2023.)

NY Times My 70-year-old mother spends too much on porn. What should I say? (Editor's Note: "You'll go blind!")

NY Times Can't Sleep? Try Sticking Your Head in the Freezer (Editor's Note: Hmmm. That seems like a prescription for a very, very long sleep.)

NY Times How I Fell in Love With Middle Age (Editor's Note: Mostly it happened after I entered Old Age.)

Washington Post You asked: What does it mean to 'let the flavors come together'? (Editor's Note: I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like maybe they just need to be left in heat a bit longer.)

Washington Post Oldest, tallest, sandiest: Comparing America's quirky Christmas trees (Editor's Note: Sandiest?)

CNN Trump lashes out at court's gag order decision in election subversion case (Editor's Note: Doesn't seem like the gag order has all that much effect, does it?)

CNN The self-checkout reversal is growing (Editor's Note: That's right. Now when you go to a store, you have to check yourself in.)

CNN Companies invested $6.6 billion in ghost kitchens. Why they're now crashing (Editor's Note: Obviously because ghosts are lousy drivers.)

CNN Venice gondola capsizes after tourists stand to take selfies (Editor's Note: Going forward, such photos will be called 'sinkies'.)

CNN Pompeii archaeologists uncover bakery that doubled as a prison (Editor's Note: It's where they originated the phrase "that pastry is to die for.")

[devisrina]

(Long post) We need more posts under this tag. So I'm going to take the liberty of analysing all the hints we got to Bela and Eric since they were subtly thrown in there and wouldn't hold any importance until the courtyard scene.

Season 1 episode 1 -

We didn't get anything romantic out of the dialogue, but the elements of the directing style are used to foreshadow/parallel the scene in S1 ep 10 where they are at the same location

It's supposed to reflect on time passing and how close they've gotten and are going to get in the near future.

It also matters that Bela approached Eric first in the pilot instead of Ryan, Eric gets a deeper introduction first (This holds no importance to Bela at the time, but it matters from a viewer's point of view, especially since this gets repeated in every episode that the Catullan gets mentioned/Mekki Leeper (Eric) and Conor Donnally (Ryan) are in.) From the get-go, we get shown that Eric isn't very approachable, he reinforces Catullan rules, and he's strict in comparison to Ryan.

Even though Eric's first conversation with Bela seemed to make him come off as misogynistic and racially insensitive, there's actually a few things to note about this interaction that differs from when we saw him in orientation.

Even though he says '600 words, no puns.' at orientation, he was willing to hear Bela out on her idea even if he didn't agree to it.

He genuinely doesn't want to discourage her because he can notice her passion for comedy.

We learn later in the episode from Ryan that the whole board decides who gets picked, so learning this makes Eric come off as more ignorant than sexist and racist. He's just afraid of changing the system.

I'm also assuming that this is Eric and Ryan's first year of being co-editors. It's more likely to assume that Eric got chosen for his work ethic/writing skills and Ryan was more chosen from the social aspect.

Just to be clear, I am not justifying Eric's behaviour. It was not right to talk to Bela like that. I feel like he consciously knew that the Catullan was not right for Bela, not because she wasn't good enough, but because it was heavily male-dominated and he wasn't confident enough to change the structure.

Season 1 episode 5

I think this was the first substantial hint that we get to Bela and Eric being a possible pairing.

Notice how he's the person who opens the door when Bela crashes the wine and cheese soiree? He doesn't protest to her being there, he simply just asked "What are you going here?" if he was one of the people who didn't want her there, I feel like he would've told her to leave. Especially since we know he's not that nice to the other freshmen.

I feel like the next scene where she joins him and his friends to try to know what they were talking about was one of the moments where it really does humanize his character. He doesn't ignore her, nor avoid the topic of conversation, he lets her join in on the conversation.

His half-smile was more out of amusement rather than being rude. He smiles twice in this scene and we know from episode 8, as told by Bela, that he rarely smiles.

And this was the episode where I feel as though he's intrigued/interested in her but he himself doesn't know yet.

Season 1 episode 7

This is a little detail, but I feel like it just adds to why these two are actually more compatible than people think. When Jeff turned in his submission, Eric makes a snarky comment about Jeff's piece on baby Yoda. I feel like Bela making the same comment with the same expression as Eric does really represents their similarities.

Comparatively, we know that Eric is more strict when he has to instruct things to the group (Can be seen when he's talking in episodes 2 and 7) . But when something is directed at Bela, he's actually softer. I think it's because she carries a similar work ethic to him, and she's always willing to learn. I think he really admires that about her which is why she stands out to him a lot more than the other freshmen do.

"I'm not sure if Eric likes me enough."

Bela saying this matters because it means that she does care about what Eric thinks of her personally. Especially since this leads back to the pilot episode where Eric says he doesn't know if she'd make the cut.

"Eric doesn't like anyone. I'm his best friend and roommate, and he still regularly calls me a talentless hack."

This foreshadows episode 8 where Bela and Carla's piece gets chosen for the instagram page. It also foreshadows episode 10 where Eric says Bela's piece was pretty solid.

Season 1 episode 8

"Eric's not that bad."

Carla saying this was a message to the audience that despite Eric's outward mean exterior that he puts on, he's not as bad as people think he is.

"Eric? the only time I've seen Eric smile was when I tripped on a cord."

This is supposed to make you think about the times we've seen him smile. And most of the times we've seen him smile were actually directed toward Bela. (it even foreshadows to later in the episode where he does smile at her when her piece gets picked for the Catullan instagram.)

I also think the fact we get told that he smiled at her when she tripped on a cord instead of being shown it was on purpose to heavily exaggerate it since it's from Bela's point of view. I think if we saw a scene when this happened, his smile would most likely have been more of an 'I'm charmed.' smile. Because Bela doesn't know that Eric does think highly of her.

Also, I feel like his smiling when she tripped on a cord does still have significance since it means he's paid attention towards her.

Season 1 episode 9

"Now Eric officially hates me, I shouldn't have said anything."

Again, she cares about what Eric thinks of her because she admires him from a writer's point of view.

Not much is there to discuss but the fact he took offence to Bela referring to Ryan as the 'handsome' editor as opposed to him shows that he subconsciously does have romantic feelings for Bela.

Eric apologising by writing out his apology shows that he's better articulated through words. He says in the note that he comes off awkward and thoughtless, which explains a lot about how he talks to people because he's not used to being a leader and meeting new people. And I think the fact he went back to apologise to her and explicitly state the words 'I believe you and I will do something about it.' means a lot to her because title 9 didn't do anything, Eric saying that he believes her and will do something about it makes her feel better because it gives her clarity. Especially since we knew that she was having a hard time processing what happened to her (She probably still has a hard time figuring it out. But having people to support her is helping her deal with it.)

(I am not excusing Eric for his actions once again. The way he reacted to what happened to Bela was very poor.)

Season 1 episode 10

I feel like when we watched episode 9, we didn't fully warm up to Eric yet. But I think the fact he held up to what he said, taking further action, going as far as to defend her credibility after Ryan tried to use the handjobs against her, while also defending both Bela and Carla's word was a step up for him in the right direction.

Also when Bela leaves, you can mainly see Eric and Evangeline's reactions toward it.

It shows he has capabilities of changing and with the proper guidance, I think he'd have a great character arc. Eric already had a pretty nice character arc in season 1. It was a smart writing choice because, for the most part, he seemed very background, mostly just there, but throughout the scenes, it largely hints at him being misunderstood. Especially when you acknowledge the fact that he probably got manipulated by Ryan. When you take note of Eric having minimal people he lets in, it largely took a toll on him that his best friend would do such a thing to Bela, who he has grown to care about.

"You think it's fun that I have 2 dads?"

Again, this shows that he cares about her opinion/what she thinks. It's sweet because when you think about how disingenuous a lot of the other people in his life were (The guys at the Catullan taking Ryan's side.) he really only mainly got along with Evangeline, Carla, Jo, and Bela. He likes that Bela has no motive, she means everything she says to him because she likes his presence.

"I do."

Fangirling rn, the actors just have amazing chemistry with each other. It's so natural and I love it so much. Bela agrees to it and he reacts back with "yeah, I guess it's kind of fun." just seals everything for him. I think he realized at this point that he has a crush on her.

It also helps that this scene has a lot of flirty subtext with their body language. (I love how Bela does a flirty shoulder tilt when she asks if she'll see him around, because it's something that Eric does at her in the teaser clip of the season 2 trailer when they're at the library and she's talking about writing a piece about short kings and he's like *shoulder head tilt* "I'm flattered, thank you.")

That little teaser we got of them in the season 2 trailer also shows that he's loose now that he and Bela are friends and it's really nice to see!

[tiredassmage]

Dot’s SWTOR 1 Year Roundup

Happy New Year (please save me from the fireworks); I’ve just realized I have been playing SWTOR for over a year now, so to entertain me while I wait for some of the fireworks hype to (hopefully) fizzle out enough that I can sleep, I decided to dig through the halls of Discord conversations, screenshot logs, etc., to catalogue some of my favorite moments, thoughts, and other odds and ends of a year and change with the game that still has me outrageously stuffed in its pocket over a year later, lmao.

I’m not really a big New Years person myself and I generally don’t partake in much of the reflection or resolutions bit, but... this got a bit emotional, I have to admit, lol. This game’s truly been part of some of my best memories for 2022 and it was really nice to stop and appreciate that a bit.

I remember starting SWTOR because I was fishing around for a new game, probably in a patch lull of XIV or something, and I distinctly remember thinking and saying, “it’s free to start, what’s the worst that could happen?”

And that turned out to be one of the best decisions for me, apparently, lmao.

Long post ahead XD

A lot of my early SWTOR experiences were logged on my other laptop that’s since been repurposed for school use, so I don’t have a ready log of everything, but throwback shout out to Jedi Consular starting it all. This one’s for you, Yuon. For the best damn Jedi Master a padawan could ask for!

I made a lot of fond memories bringing one of my favorite OCs to the SWTOR universe - many serious Star Wars experiences, and many others where I said stupid shit and made mental memes.

That time we fought a load of Sith on Voss to the mental soundtrack of Toxic by Brittany Spears! Also, the origin of one of my friends saying probably the funniest thing I’ve ever heard about him and that was “man’s lightsaber has more meat on its bones than him.”

They weren’t wrong. Also, SWTOR is a perfectly functioning game that knows how dualsabers work. (Love you, SWTOR)

(Sir, I don’t think that’s how you experience with Valkorian worked.)

And there was also this explanation I had to offer to friends at some point in my ramblings, which is maybe the most relatable thing I’ve ever had to say about gamer inventories:

Judging from my screenshots (I have. Too many. Let’s not talk about it), Tyr came crashing into my life May, 2022. And I wolfed down the Imperial Agent story in ungodly time. Baby Tyr is too powerful for the post editor atm, but I have screens of him confronting Jadus from like the 10th and two days later he was on Corellia. Checks out, given how ravenously I completed his second run lately.

(Baby Tyr finally earned rights to join the post after a bit more writing, apparently, lol)

And under a week after that, I gave him main character problems and he was dealing with KOTXX! The power of love for your favorite glowstick, I mean, OC!!!

This also collectively means that I managed to finish all 8 class stories in under a year - several of which I’ve run at least twice now. It’s been an absolute blast and I’m still exploring different ways they can play out with different alignments and decisions. It’d felt like it’d been a while since I’d been so taken with a game and it’s genuinely been a pleasure to experience it again.

And, of course, diving headfirst into Tyr’s story drove a lot of my creative output this year. I love developing characters, getting invested in them, but I’d gotten into a bit of a struggle bus with it for a while before I plunged into Tyr’s experiences. It was probably midnight or so when I wrapped my first SWTOR fic or two and I just decided to say fuck it and take the plunge, post the thing and whatever happened happened.

Well, it turned out: what could happen would be a long series of fics and headcanons later, one of my favorite OCs, and a slew of lovely interaction with a truly wonderful community. I can’t say enough how much joy I’ve had getting into this game and throwing myself into the deep end of the community’s love for it and their characters. In the last several months, especially, I’ve made some lovely mutuals that have truly, genuinely made this year better. If I may indulge in some individual shoutouts, @captainderyn​ and @eorzeashan​, you’ve both been incredibly delightful highlights to my last several months and it’s been an incredibly valuable pleasure to me to share circles with you! And, of course, my bestie mvp @fatewalker-phoenix​ who has put up with my descent into this madness from the beginning, lol, and whom has also been one of the best damn friends I’ve ever had in the last few years. Enabler, listener, and supporter extraordinaire, life has truly been better with you in it <3.

This year, I also participated in my first few Secret Santa gift exchanges, both irl and in fan spaces! I was delighted to share in the experience and they were incredibly rewarding! I look forward to participating in more of these opportunities in the future.

I’ve got a whole second run of the Agent class story under my belt in the last month and Savosta and Rhystyl’s friendship has also become really fun to work with and explore. I’m fondly looking forward to another year with this game with so many ocs that have become so near and dear to me.

And a big, big shout out and thanks to y’all for being a part of it. <3

Warm wishes for a kinder 2023,

-Dot

(PS, victory appears to be mine!! The amount of fireworks going off by the end of this writing is significantly lower than when I started, lol!)

[allegra-writes]

"Bad together"

Prologue: Benjamin Reilly

Peter Parker x Reader

General audiences

Warnings: none.

"And if I'm dead to you

Why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed"

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

"... It's a disaster! Look at her! It's like someone took a look at Black Cat, selected everything that made her sexy and then took it out!"

Black Cat. The name froze the young photographer on his tracks right outside his boss' office. He hadn't heard that name in a long time, the last sighting had been well over a year ago. He would know.  After all, it had been him, the very last person to have seen Felicia Hardy, alive or dead.

"What are you talking about? That looks hot af, not to mention badass!" Jade's persuasive voice reached his ears, making him smirk: It was no secret the chief editor had a soft spot for the young intern. And, on her part, the petite brunette was a firecracker. Poor old Jameson didn't stand a chance. "Come on, dad. Single handedly taking down three of the Kingpin's goons? That's impressive. It deserves to be one of the slides!" 

"Not if we don't get a higher quality picture. That blurry video is good enough for a thumbnail, but not for a slide" Slides were a big deal, they were the Dailybugle.net's equivalent of a front page, and if J. Jonah Jameson took something seriously, it was his web site. He prided himself in the quality of the "receipts" of his "tea", as if that validated the trashiness of the bullshit articles he posted, more fiction from hyper imaginative wannabe writers than serious work from real reporters. 

"Well, then let's get the pictures. Where is that star photographer of yours?" 

The photographer rolled his eyes, typical Jade. As if the queen of cool didn't know his name. As if she hadn't graced his bed a handful of times already. 

"That's a good question. Dolores, get me Reilly!"

"I'm here, Jonah" Ben finally stepped inside the office, throwing an envelope on Jameson's desk before throwing himself on a chair across it. He could feel Jade's eyes on him, almost like a physical caress, trailing from the long, slick back curls on the top of his head, to the muscles of his arms, threatening to rip open the seams at the sleeves of his white t-shirt, to his jean clad thighs. Still, he didn't turn to look at her, refusing to give her the satisfaction. 

"What do you have for me today, boy?"

Ben gesticulated vaguely with his head in the direction of Jade, and Jameson caught the hint. 

"Jade, out!" 

"But, dad, my story!" The petulant reply left her mouth before she could stop it, undoubtedly the product of years of habit. But she had the grace to look embarrassed and leave the office without another word, trying to save whatever professionalism she had left. 

Once she was gone, Jameson opened the envelope, flipping through the various pictures of a masked figure swinging around New York in a black and red suit. 

"Hmmm… these are good" the older man praised, staring at the images of a frustrated robbery at 5th avenue

Ben snifled nocomitically,

"There was a fire at 16th avenue happening at the same time" He offered, "we could use that. Spider-Man forgets his roots and leaves his old neighborhood to fend for itself, running off to save some pretty socialite…"

"Oh, that is excellent! See, this is why I like you, kid. You have initiative. Unlike these snowflakes out there. Oh, but Spider-Man is a hero. Hero, my ass"

"Well, when you watch your so called hero sit back and do nothing as your life gets destroyed" Ben shrugged, "the rose colored glasses tend to fall off…"

Jameson made a face at that,

"Yeah, about that… I'm sorry. For the role the Daily Bugle played on that…"

Ben shook his head, 

"You thought you were getting the truth out there. It's not your fault to have been played, along with half the world. Plus," he added, sounding genuinely enthusiastic, "you gave me this job. And now we can really tell the truth"

"Even when our idea of the truth is somehow different" The older man scoffed, flipping around a picture of Spider-Man sat on what appeared to be a hammock of his own webs, eating a hamburger and reading something that looked suspiciously like a comic book, "Still hung up on that high schooler theory of yours?"

"Well, if it talks like a brat and acts like a brat…" Ben took out another envelope, this time containing a few burger king wrappers and, effectively, a spider-man comic book. 

"Where did you even get these?"

"Harlem" was Ben's curt reply, and Jameson knew that was as exact a location as he was going to get. 

"So you still believe this is a copycat? Some kid playing dress up"

Ben simply shrugged again. 

"Well, there seems to be an epidemic of those lately" Jameson admitted, indicating Ben to come closer, passing a tablet to him, "Jade just handled me this, take a look"

Ben took a deep breath, steeling himself, already knowing what he was going to see in it. Yet, a part of him couldn't help but hope to be wrong. To hope the silver haired figure facing three much bigger, stronger looking ones as he pressed play, wasn't the same one he had spent weeks memorizing last summer. Wasn't the body he had found solace in, when everything fell apart, once again, for the hundredth time in his life. 

To hope it wasn't you. 

But when in his twenty-two or so years of existence, had things ever gone his way? 

Ben felt the screen crack under his fingertips.

"I've heard of her" he lied through his teeth, "didn't even think she was real, to be honest. Extremely elusive, and cunning." That much was true, "I don't understand how something as mundane as a security camera managed to catch her…" 

Unless you wanted to be caught, that was. 

"Well, I don't care if she's the fucking Loch Ness monster, I want an HD picture of her on my desk tomorrow to go with Jade's article. I already have a headline: New Catastrophe Jen wreaks havoc on Hell's Kitchen" Jameson's eyes lit up with glee as he weaved his hands up in the air, like writing on an invisible marquee. 

Ben snorted

"Don't you mean Calamity Jane?"

Jameson's face fell, the color rising to his cheeks, characteristic vein popping on his forehead. 

"I meant what I meant, boy! Now, what are you still doing here? You have 24 hours to get me that picture"

"I'm going to need 72," came Ben's unphased reply, "and I want twice what you pay me for the spidey pics"

Jameson's vein looked about ready to explode,

"48 hours. And deal."

Ben jumped from his seat and bolted out of the office before his boss could change his mind, not realizing until it was too late that he was on a collision course with a sweet looking short haired blonde girl. 

"Watch where you're going! Jeez!"

"Me? You're the one who crashed against me!" 

Ben rolled his eyes, but crouched next to the girl anyway, helping her gather the papers that had been sent flying on impact back together.

"Peter? Oh my god, is that you?"

Of course. What an idiot, he should had recognized that annoying, shrilly voice the second he heard it. It had caught him off guard, something he knew he couldn't afford. But how could he had ever imagine he could run into Betty fucking Brant, Yale cum laude, in the freaking dailybugle.net headquarters of all places?

"Sorry, sweetheart. You must confuse me with someone else…" He mumbled, lowering his head even more in a vain attempt to hide his face.

"Of course not!" She insisted, "You're Peter, Peter Parker, we went to Midtown together!"

"Miss, I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Don't be silly, Peter!" She chuckled, completely deft to his tone or the way his whole demeanor had changed the second she had called him by the old name. "How have you been? Oh, just wait until I tell Ned, he's going to be so-"

CRACK.

At last, the tablet that had been in peril ever since Jameson had put it in Ben's hands, the one that contained his assignment, met its demise, both broken halves falling to the ground, along with all the papers he had picked up for Betty. It was several moments before he could get the shaking of his hands under control, before the tar black rage inside him subsided enough for him to be able to move without shifting. But it had.

"Peter Parker is dead." He deadpanned, dark brown eyes finally meeting Betty's stunned blue ones, "Tell Ned that, he'll probably be glad to hear it"

With that, he stood up and walked away, leaving a confused and agitated Betty behind. 

To be continued...

[sandyrantsxo]

Today, I lost.

I don’t even think I have the strength to do this post right now, but I want to capture what I’m feeling right now. I am not good at dealing with my emotions, but everyday, I’m learning how to be better in compartmentalizing everything. After not placing twice in this journalism contests, I’m starting to realize something.

I’m not really good at it. Not as good as I thought I am.

Or maybe, I’m too proud of myself and God decided to humble me.

I don’t know what happened honestly. As I look back, maybe the only reason I won before was luck- not skill. I’ve tried so hard not to cry but I can’t hold it in any longer. I know I did my best. It really felt like I was gonna win, but turns out I didn’t. I know I should’ve stuck with my old philosophy.

Never expect great things so you don’t get disappointed.

But I think I’ve learnt nothing from last year. I told myself I’m gonna do better this year, but maybe just like all my other resolutions, I wouldn’t be able to do that. However, I see this defeat as a chance to do better on academics. Now that two of them would be training for RSPC, that would mean that I’ll have a better grip on my academics. After all, journalism is just an extracurricular activity and what matters in the end is my grades. I’m fucking graduating next year. I don’t want to disappoint my advisers, my friends, and my family. I’m really alright with disappointing myself, but knowing that there are other people who look up to me, who believes in me, and knowing the fact that I fucking failed them hurts me the most. It’s like a stab in my heart and I would never, ever forget this. Maybe this is a sign to quit journalism. Maybe this isn’t my path. I’ve tried so hard, so no regrets now. 

I really thought that this is my thing, but maybe I’ve changed. Who knows? I thought that this is that one thing that I can call my expertise or something that I’m good at, and after the results came out, I just lost it. I lost my confidence in writing, I don’t think I can write another article again because it just hurts. The Editor-in-Chief won nothing. Didn’t place in the district level. What a shame. What a fucking shame.

As she comforted me in my DMs, I really wanna hug her. I need a hud. Really need a hug. I’ve failed again, and it just hurts so bad I can’t put it into words. My head is about to explode and I’m running out of breath. I’m nothing but a failure, again. And when everyone asks, how did the contest go? I’ll be like, “Oh, I didn’t place. I didn’t win anything, but hey, all our participants were placers! Congratulations to them!”. I don’t want to appear bitter, but I don’t want to pretend like I’m fine. Yes, I’ve told everyone I’m okay, but I’m not. It’s like a punch in the face.This is supposed to be my forte. This is supposed to be what I’m good at. My loss really proved that I’m not good at anything, that no matter how hard I try, I’m just meant to suck.

It made me realize that I’m not made to stood out. I’m not built for success, and it might sound dramatic, but that’s how I feel. I’m just an average and a tryhard bitch. I’ve worked for this in weeks. WEEKS. There really isn’t an excuse for me. All of them won something, and I didn’t. And it makes me want to cry and die and I don’t know, hurt myself, but I won’t do that. I’m almost 2 months clean again, and I’m not doing self-harm again. I’ll try my best not to. I’m average. I know a lot of things, but I’m not the best at anything. I know how to sing, dance, make crafts, I’m a bit smart but not intelligent, I’m not good at guitar but I know how to play, I’m not a great gamer, but I know how to play, and all that. I crashed. I crashed real bad. Now the only thing that I can make my family proud is my academics. There, I had to perform real good (which is hard because everyone in the class are geniuses).

I managed to fuck up everything good in my life in a matter of 4 years. Wow. I really am a disappointment.

I’m really sorry for disappointing you. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry...

[girlcalledtasha]

Something Weird Happened Today

We wandered down the Labyrinth many hours. Rosalind and I discussed what even was this place.  She didn't know much. She never planned to come down here.  All she really knew is that this was a physical place that existed beneath the city.  She knew this was the Labyrinth that lead to the nine circles.  What lay within the circles she did not know.

Through the cold walls of the Labyrinth we could hear the creature stalking. Occasionally Virgil would lead us to another dead end where we would wait for the creature to pass again, and we would catch a glimpse its terrifying form, before Virgil would lead us onwards once more.

Now and then we could hear Dante calling to us. He hasn't lost ground. I could tell Rosalind was scared. I'm not sure why she chose to help me.

Eventually we found ourselves in a round room surrounded by mirrors. There was no entrance or exit to this room. It was as if we stumbled into it through the geometry of another dimension we could not reach by choice. There was no way out of it now.  I'd seen a place like this before; at the fairground of the cultist campsite. The room of mirrors reflecting infinitely that had trapped me before. I placed my hand against the glass of one of the mirrors. It was cold and solid and our reflections were clearly seen on the other side of it.  Our reflections repeated as they bounced between the mirrors far off into the distance before fading into darkness. Between the recursive reflections I could see the shadow of the beast prowling.

"Nine mirrors," Rosalind said as she sat upon the flagstone floor. I looked around. She was right.

Virgil had stopped leading. This was clearly the destination. I placed him on the floor and went to sit by Rosalind. We were exhausted, hungry and thirsty. We stared into the mirrors watching the reflection of the three headed beast roaming between them.

I checked Facebook to see if anyone had responded to our last post. Five thumbs up. Five heart reacts. A few comments like "Brilliant!" and "So exciting!" and "You should turn these stories into a podcast!"

I sighed. "I don't think help is coming."

Rosalind shook her head. "Abandon all hope, neighbour."

I nodded. "Indeed."

"There you are." A familiar voice came from behind us. We saw an occultist emerge from the darkness between our reflections. We jumped back to our feet and faced him.

"Dante," croaked Rosalind.

"Hello, Rosalinnnd. And who is this with you?" He asked, turning to me. "Virgil," he commanded, extending an open hand. "Come to me. I am your master now." I could see his other hand held an ornate dagger.

I shook my head and slid Virgil forward along the floor with my foot. "I'm Tasha. This is Virgil."

Virgil blinked. Dante looked down at the eye stalk, and back up at me. He snarled and charged at Rosalind, crashing her against one of the mirrors, causing it to crack. Dante pressed his dagger against her throat.

"What game are you playing, Rosalinnnd?" She struggled against him and I tried to pull him off but we were too weak from hunger. He threw me off like I weighed nothing. "We've been playing cat and mouse long enough. I DO NOT. HAVE PATIENCE. FOR GAMES!"

"GET OFF OF HER!" I yelled, and got back on my feet.

Above Rosalind’s head, a set of enormous black jaws emerged from the cracked glass. Dante froze. The beast panted heavily, its breath formed clouds in the damp air that circled around them. Rosalind locked eyes with me. She opened her mouth to say something and the great jaws lowered around her head and removed it from her. Only her body remained, slumped against the broken glass. The beast carried her head off deep into the mirror's reflection until it was gone.

"Rosalind…” I whimpered. “No."  This was all my fault.

Dante huffed. "No matter. One of you is Virgil. Now. Lead me to The Editor."

"You killed Rosalind!" I screamed, tears raining down my cheeks.

He grabbed me. "This is not how this story was meant to go. You will lead me to The Editor or we can both die here in Limbo."

"I don't know what that means!" I screamed, thrashing against him. He briefly lost his footing and knocked Virgil over.

"You..." his words were cut short as a dark shadow leapt from the mirror and ripped his head from his torso. The beast swallowed it whole and turned to me with ravenous fury in its eyes. My time was up. I thought about what I could have done differently. What an idiot I was. I should have figured this out. It was all so obvious now. I should have left the hole well alone. I should never have taken that sprout.

I picked up Virgil and faced the beast, ready to accept my fate. Over its shoulder, within one of the mirrors, Rosalind was silently pounding her fist on the glass, wordlessly yelling at me.

"Rosalind..."

The beast leapt and my world went dark.

I was in a room. It was about 10 foot square but its edges were hard to define. It repeated on all sides, just like in the mirror room. There was no ceiling. I could see a sky high above me unlike any I’d seen before. It was made of undulating flesh covered in membranous villi that swayed as if in a soft breeze. It was quiet. In the centre of the room was a simple wooden chair that repeated along with the room. Its feet were black with rot creeping up the legs.

I was sat in the chair. I was looking at myself sat in the chair. And I repeated along with the chair along with the room indefinitely in all directions.

I was sitting still in the chair. My eyes and mouth wide open. Arms limp at my side and neck craned backwards so that I was staring up at the hungry sky.

Virgil was with me, staring towards the next room. I walked to the next room. I was there too. In the chair. Staring up. Never blinking. Breathless.

I walked to the next room. And the next. And the next.

I walked for what felt like days. It was hard to tell. There was no day or night. Time moves strangely in the Circle. There was only the room I stood in and the echoing path ahead.

Ahead of me was a different chair. I walked towards it. I wasn't sitting in this chair. It was Dante. Sat in the same position I was in. Rosalind was there too. Looking over Dante as I did.

His flesh was dry. Desiccated. Brittle skin wrapped around his bones like paper. His eyes, staring upward, sunk into his skull as two shallow pits.

He coughed. The flesh of his lips cracked and they began to move.

"Rosalind... Tasha... I have been... waiting... for this moment..." His neck creaked upright and his head dropped down. "... for millennia..." His eyes closed as he continued. "He takes our past. He takes our present. He leaves us with our future. An endless future. Alone. In silence. In perpetual stasis. Never changing. Eons of nothing. In time, even thoughts fall silent. All we have, all we are, is anticipation of the nothing that is to come."

Rosalind and I looked at each other.

"Who is He?" I asked.

"The Editor!" he coughed. "There is only endless time in His circle. And fear. We see forward. Into the infinite and empty void. We see how empty it is. And we fear every hollow second that is to come. We suffer.

“But I was blessed by Him. I, I could see a moment in time that was to come. 3000 years into the void. One unlike all the others. I was blessed with this moment to bring you a choice. How I’ve longed for this moment. But soon… even this precious moment shall pass. Then there will be nothing. This will be your fate too. You will wander. In time, your flesh will grow weary. It will abandon you, as all things will. Eventually, you will sit a while. And you will not get up."

"You said there was a choice," I told him.

"Be His apostle on Earth. Or be devoured by your future here."

"Why us?" asked Rosalind.

"You are storytellers. As are all preachers."

"I mean... I post a bit on Facebook and Reddit."

"Yes. Yes. He follows your Reddit account."

"Then he never up votes."

"What is your choice?" He asked, pointing towards two empty wooden chairs in the next room. "Fear The Editor, or... sit with me for a while."

“What do you think?” I asked Rosalind. “You know more about this stuff than me.”

Rosalind thought for a moment. “This is hardly a choice.”

I nodded and took Rosalind's hand.

"We fear The Editor."

The rooms were gone. Instead we were standing in what looked like a derelict subway station. The tracks appeared as though they had been rusting for decades. On the platform there was an old rotten tram car. The air was saturated with damp and the smell of mould.

"What just happened?" I asked Rosalind. She looked as confused as I. “Are we back in the Labyrinth?”

"I think... we just made a deal with the devil. Ahh!" She grabbed her head in pain and I covered my ears as we were surrounded by a din of static. "The Editor! I meant deal with The Editor!" The din died down.

"Sounds about right," I replied, my ears still ringing. "So what are we supposed to do? Go out on the streets and tell stories?"

"I dunno.” replied Rosalind. “We could do a podcast?"

An old grey cat dashed from between our legs into the tram and an old grey man appeared at the driver's window.

"You getting in or not?" he asked, like we'd been keeping him waiting. I shrugged at Rosalind and we got on board.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" I asked the tram driver.

"Unlikely," he scoffed as he lit a cigarette. His name badge labelled him as Charon.

"Hey yeah! You're the guy who dropped his wallet near Leeds Market!"

"Eh?" grunted Charon.

"I have something of yours." I pulled the wallet I found out of my bag and handed it to him. His eyes lit up.

"My cig money!" he grabbed it and rummaged through.

"It's all there," I assured him.

He tipped his cap to me. "Well, ta very much, love. Let's get you back to Leeds."

The tram bell rang twice, and the wheels excruciatingly squealed into motion on the old rusted tracks.

"We could start a podcast," Rosalind continued.

"Hmm?"

"A podcast for telling stories and convincing people to fear The Editor."

"Ohhh, like that queer creepypasta idea we had. What would we call it though?"

"Horror Queers?" she suggested.

I got out my phone. "Taken."

"Frigay the Thirteenth? "

"Also taken."

"Queer Horror Cult? "

"Dammit. All the good names are taken."

"Queerpypasta?"

"That has to be taken. Oh, wait. That's free. I like it. Queerpypasta."

"Rolls off the tongue doesn't it?"

"Queeeeerppyyyyypasta."

"Queerrrrrrrpy..."

So something weird happened this weekend. We were chased into hell by a lunatic cultist and now I guess we're starting a podcast?

#somethingweirdhappenedtoday

[melyaliz]

Chapter 1: Ride the Lightning

 Masterlist

Fandom: Marvel / X-Men 

Summary: Peter had seen a lot of weird things being an X-men but this woman was one of the weirder ones.  

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x OC 

Notes: Trying to figure out timelines for this is a pain. One of the reasons I HATE the X-Men. We are just going to say this is right after Apocalypse and Peter is around 25. I know I’m going to get hate for it because of time but oh well. 

ALSO: I promise requests are getting written. I just had to clean the 12 chapters of my novel so I could send them to my editors. (I’m so close to being done with the first draft I can taste it) 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

-------------------------------

He was never sure what had drawn him to her. It was like this magnetic pull. No matter what he did he found himself back to her. Racing toward her, unable to go anywhere else.

Lighting striking the highest point. 

Whoever said lightning never strikes the same place twice was wrong. 

Lighting always struck whatever was closest. The highest point in the sky. So if that point was still the highest point it would still strike it. 

And that was her, she was so high up he couldn’t see anyone else but her.

She was his angel in the clouds.

----

“Cyclops look out!” Jean screamed as she blocked the large bone spikes that were shot out at her boyfriend. Peter looked around the room assessing the problem. It was 6 of them against 4 of the bad guys. 

And they were kind of getting their asses handed to them. 

Only kind of though. 

Cyclops and Jean were fighting that weird bone shooty guy while Nightcrawler was dodging the mini earthquakes from the other guy while Peter was racing around the blonde chick shooting weird little light bombs at him while Jubilee tried to combat the bursts with her own pyrotechnics. 

While Storm, Strom was fighting a chick with hair that was almost as white as hers. 

A gust of wind and the chick crashed into a bus. 

But instead of seeming to get hurt the shock from the force between the chick and the bus seemed to get absorbed. Dropping down the chick shook her head eyes glowing bright blue sparks with energy. 

No one else noticed it, probably because of his speed, but the girl's hands started to flicker with some weird blue light her eyes matching. 

Slowly she stood and as Ororo sent another wave of wind the girl raised her hand the wind dying down and her hands glowing visibility now. 

Dashing toward his teammate Peter quickly moved the weather goddess away as the girl let out a blast of pure energy. He glanced back at the chick, her face completely stoic no expression, completely blank. 

It was kind of creepy. 

Once Strom was away from the blast Peter raced toward the girl. It was time to end this. 

Grabbing her from behind he pulled her hands behind her back against his chest trying to decide what his next move should be. 

“Time to chill out,” he said.  

Slowly she turned to look at him, her eyes glowing with energy, “We do not take orders from you.” she said before leaning back so her fingertips touched his wrist. 

And suddenly Peter felt… exhausted. 

It was as if someone was sucking the life out of him. Or his energy. Or his speed. 

The world seemed to slow, drain. 

He pulled away from her clutching his wrist eyes focusing on her face. Shock, as he realized the world around him, seemed to speed up, meet him. 

Her face looked blank, unmoving in that creepy child of the corn look. But her eyes, her eyes were alight with blue fire. Hair bright as she let the blue energy flow through her body. Rising her hands like a prayer she closed her eyes then spread her arms out letting a wave of energy flow sending everyone flying. 

In the dust of it, they were gone. 

Peter blinked looking around.

What had just happened? 

-------------

“Late at night, all systems go, you've come to see the show

We do our best, you're the rest, you make it real, you know” 

Metallica pulsed through Gemma’s headphones from her walkman as she moved from the bus stop of her job at the post office. 

“Adrenaline starts to flow

You're thrashing all around

Acting like a maniac

Whiplash”

Her hand tapped against the door letting the residual reaction flow through her hand. Small sparks of energy pulsing through her veins. Who needs coffee when they have an amazing song? 

“Morning!” Her coworker Sandra said waving to her from behind the table where she was organizing letters. Gemma waved back adding a little skip in her step as she made her way back to the packages department. 

Gemma liked the post office. It offered some sort of repetition, moving boxes around getting them where they needed to go. It was a lot of mental work but it was consistent and she liked that. They also didn’t mind if she played music while she did it which was a plus. 

And when she was done she was done. And she could go home and be home. 

And rest.

Gemma had always had problems sleeping. When her mutant abilities had emerged she had just assumed it had something to do with that. Her ability to absorb energy. It was as if every little thing charged her up and sent her into a spiral of energy that she couldn’t quite calm down from. It had taken years worth of therapy and mediation to get it under control. 

So when the restlessness had come back she wasn’t really sure why. 

It was as if even when she slept she felt even worse the next morning. No matter how early she went to bed or how long she slept in. 

“Have a good night last night?” Gemma was broken from her internal whining about wanting a nap by her co-worker Paul who nodded toward the large bruise on her lower arm. She glanced down at it. Yeah, it kind of looked like a handprint. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know where I got that.” Gemma laughed pulling at her sleeve trying to cover it and wishing she had worn longer sleeves.  

“Man I need the drugs your on” he laughed as he handed her another box. 

“Yeah Metallica is one hell of a drug” 

“Oh have you checked out Twisted Sister yet?” 

“Yeah, I loved it,”

“You should come over tonight, ya know, listen to it. I just got a new kickass stereo” 

Gemma bit her lip nervously glancing at Paul. She knew what “hang out and listen to music” meant and… honestly, all she really wanted to do tonight was sleep. Like for real. 

“Sorry I promised my parents I would… do this thing.”

“Oh that’s right christen girl.” Paul laughed shaking his head, “Well if you ever want to see how us pagans live let me know.”

“I’ll keep it in mind thanks.”

After several more long hours even her powers couldn’t help her charge enough. Gemma felt like she was going to pass out on the shipping floor. The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough.  

Slowly she dragged herself back to the bus stop before putting in her headphones and resting as the bus drove her home. 

-------------

No matter how fast he ran Peter could not get that feeling out of his head. 

His literal speed being drained from his body. 

It was back now, the energy within him quickly recharging after they had regrouped at a team but he still felt like he needed to run out that bad taste that was in his mouth. 

That feeling. Like slowly getting tired. As if something was draining you. Sucking the very lifeforce out of your body. 

He hated it. 

Shaking his head he was about to do another lap around the coast when it caught his eye. 

She caught his eye. 

Maybe it was because he was thinking about last night but… there was no way. 

Yet he could have sworn…

No, it wasn’t possible. 

Doubling back he ran toward the bus again. 

There was no way.

------

The bus stopped to let more people on. Gemma ignored them as she pulled her bag onto her lap to give a newcomer a seat. Settling back in she adjusted her headset as her eyes flickered up for a moment to see a silver-haired boy walking purposefully up to her. 

Shit

Please leave me alone. I'm tired.

“It’s you”

Silence stretched between them both. “Oh sorry” she finally said, “I thought there was more to that pickup line.”

Peter felt himself confused, “No I… you know” he sat down next to her making sure he kept enough of a distance from her that he could get away quickly, especially her hands, “The one from the energy plant. Look if you come quietly…” 

Was this guy insane? Possibly, I mean this was public transportation.  

“Trust me,  I’m not...” 

“Wait are you listening to Pink Floyd?” he asked quickly pulling off her headphones putting one side to his ear.

“Ohhhh ok.” So this guy was insane, fun. “It’s ok never really been that big of a fan.”

“What?” his large brown eyes looked at you in pure shock as if you had just told him the world was flat and that stars are just fireflies stuck in the sky. You shrugged.

“I’m just more of a Metal fan” 

“Like what?” 

“Like this” you pulled out the tape and placed Iron Maiden in pressing play as Trooper blasted through the speakers. Gently she put the headphones on his head. 

He nodded as the music blasted through the speakers. The energy around it is loud and addicting. He was familiar with the band and while his tastes leaned more for contemporary and experimental rock.  

So here’s the thing about talking to strangers on a bus. Don’t do it, especially if they think you are someone you are not. 

But there is also the other thing. 

Gemma could basically blast this guys head off if she wanted. Maybe not at this moment considering that she felt like she was about to fall asleep at any moment, but if she really needed to he could drain his energy and get away no problem. 

So why not talk about music with someone on a long bus ride home. 

Also, she had other headphones so if he had some weird ear fungus whatever. 

Call it loneliness. Call it boredom. Call it sleep-deprived. 

Call it whatever you want but today she decided to just hang with a crazy stranger and listen to music. 

So they sat a half a foot apart the headphones stretched between them as she showed him different songs she liked. 

“This is me” she finally said a few songs later. Peter blinked in confusion at her comment. Turning to her as the song paused. The girl nodded toward the stop that their bus was slowing down toward. “So yeah…” unplugging the headphones leaving them on his hand she got up grabbing her bag before moving around him to get out. “See ya never” 

Peter sat in shock for a moment, what had just happened? How had the time flown by so fast? Normally it was him flying through as the world stood and waited. Blinking a few times he realized the girl was already walking off the bus.

“Hey!” 

She paused turning looking over her shoulder at the weird man sitting there with her headphones still in his hand looking at her as if he hadn’t quite caught up with what was going on. It’s ok not all of us are quick on the uptake. 

Her bright blue eyes sparkled with the evening sun outside the window and a private joke she was enjoying. That’s when he saw it. The way her fingers tapped the metal handrail in time with the music still echoing in her brain. 

Blue sparks. 

“I… What’s your name?” 

“Gemma” 

Two more steps and she was gone, the door closing behind her. Bus pulling away. 

What the hell? 

---------

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[ckret2]

Ghidorah prompts! climbing a mountain, first flights, passing requirements, annnd “Dancing Queen” by ABBA

EDIT: I’ve tried to insert a read more half a dozen times. I’ve tried on both mobile and desktop, in both the normal text editor and HTML mode. Tumblr refuses to let me. I apologize for the length.

Edit 2: What’s up it’s three months later and not only will tumblr still not let me insert a read more, it also deleted the text from the original ask when I tried to edit the post. Lucky for tumblr I predicted it would do that and copy/pasted the ask! Tumblr’s a shit show.

Did you want angst? You’re getting angst. Backstory angst. With climbing a mountain + first flights. Although not impossible, it’d be pretty hard to write angst to “Dancing Queen.” I’ve been trying to hammer out my personal Ghidorah backstory headcanons, so this gave me a good opportunity to test them out.

I see Showa’s “Ghidorah is a terrible space invader who compulsively destroys planets and keeps getting mind-controlled by aliens” and Heisei’s “Ghidorah is an experiment fusing together three adorable empathic dragon-kittens whose original purpose was being loving pets” and I raise you a “why don’t we have both?” Ghidorah is basically three 500-foot-tall kittens at this point in history so they’re less RAAAH and more weeeh.

I’m… probably not taking new King Ghidorah fic prompts at this point, due to the fact that I’ve got six asks and five replies with prompts. … Unless you’ve got one you’ve really really really gotta share. EDIT: And, of course, I always take fic prompts via ko-fi, hint hint.

###

STAND UP AND TRY AGAIN

###

They flap twice, dragging their massive body into the air, feet lifting off the peak of the artificial mountain for the first time that day; but they feel far too large for this, and their balance is wrong, and as they try to stabilize themselves somebody takes control that he shouldn’t have. Their wings pump out of sync. They crash into the mountain and tumble to the ground.

The starry black sky and cold white dust spin dizzily around their faces. Shards of gold in their peripheral visions clatter around, like a kaleidoscope made from their own body. They shut their eyes, one head at a time, waiting for the spinning to stop.

A voice in their head commands, GET UP, and they are powerless not to obey. PATHETIC! CLIMB BACK UP AND TRY AGAIN.

Only one of them opens his eyes. It’s easier that way, without three different views tangling together, making the landscape throb like a migraine.

Slowly, they roll back over. Moving their body is like three different people trying to control the same marionette, each reaching out to grab a string and tug on a knee or a wrist or hip or neck, without any practice or instructions. Usually, one of them will grab hold of a muscle, tense it a moment to make sure no one else is trying to use it at the same time, and only then gradually move it. It’s slow going. A day where they do nothing but stand upright and raise their wings can leave them sore and exhausted from moving so slowly and holding their muscles so tightly.

Just standing isn’t good enough today. FASTER! Their masters think they should be better at this—better at everything—by now. They feel their masters’ forced patience turn to frustration and disappointment more and more frequently. They try to move faster.

One claims control of one wing. One claims the other. One controls one leg. Maybe like this? Take one big piece, instead of a single muscle, and focus only on that. Take turns. Crawl uphill jerkily. One leg, uncontrolled, is dragging; one of them takes control of both that leg and a wing, alternating between them. He loses their rhythm, they try to lift both wings at the same time, and their long necks and heads flop into the mountainside.

White dust puffs up and settles on their scales.

They consider staying there.

GET BACK UP!

They get back up.

It’s easier with one of them controlling both legs and the others sharing the wings.

They miss being small. They miss being separate. They miss living inside. They miss having pillows. They miss cooked food. They miss short necks. They miss when their heads didn’t throb and their muscles didn’t ache. They miss when their minds were their own. They miss walking and flying and moving without having to think about it. They miss when the masters and owners around them sometimes felt happy, instead of angry and frustrated and burning with a long simmering wrath. They miss their owner, who would pet them and smile at them and love them.

They’re at the top of the mountain.

AGAIN. STAY STRAIGHT THIS TIME. The master feels irritated already, already convinced they’re going to fail. As if it’s so easy! How would all of them like being stitched into a three-headed monster and yelled at to do a hand stand?

Their burst of rage synchronizes them. Their wings spread wide and slam down. It’s the hardest they’ve ever flapped. They shoot into the air. Dust devils twirl down the mountainside.

They feel the masters’ fear.

Their anger pounds in their throats like a heartbeat, and each time it pounds they flap again, lifting higher, straining through the thin atmosphere toward the stars, like they can escape to another world…

The anger drains away.

They crash back down to the mountain.

It takes a long time before the dust settles and they can again see the artificial white hill with its glimmering black windows where the masters are watching. The masters’ fear is giving way to excitement, amazement, joy.

They think it felt better when the masters were afraid.

That thought scares them. They don’t know which one of them the thought comes from. That scares them even more.

But the masters are happy now. They have accomplished their given task and are exhausted by the effort. Maybe they’re done for the day, now that the masters are happy? Maybe they can go home at last, curl up on the ground between the fences, and sleep?

THIS TIME, TRY GLIDING.

Their heads droop.

But they’ll try to obey. They have no choice.

###

Comments/reblogs are welcome! Check the “source” link below for my masterlist of Ghidorah-centric and Rodorah fics, as well as my AO3 and Ko-fi links.

[thebigreylotheory]

Belated TROS trailer reaction and thoughts

Painting.

Been doing lots of painting.  Rewatching TFA, TLJ, and Solo and painting.

Ok, wow, originally intended to have this up by May the 4th….but like I mentioned some posts ago, bantha poodoo happens. (Caps is the same :( )

It’s finally, finally time for my TROS trailer reaction, thoughts, and a few theories! (I don’t know about you, but I’m still not over how good it is. Say what you will, Star Wars has the best trailers.)

Breathing is very important to the sequel trilogy. (I would say that Rey that is totally going to be ahead of the game for Lamaze class if we get a sequel-sequel trilogy/book/comic baby some galaxy far far away day.)

I’ve wondered if the movie will take the time to explain how the Skywalker lightsaber has been repaired? My feeling is, sorta like ROTJ, it’ll just be there like Luke’s green lightsaber. So, you’ll either have to make up your own head canon OR we’ll eventually get books and comics for the time gap between TLJ and TROS that will explain exactly what Rey did. Since she’s a scavenger, and mechanically inclined around junk, my feeling right now is, it’s possible she might have gone on a journey for a new kyber crystal and she’s repurposed the hilt. Which I think could be symbolically interesting….almost saying she’s “her own person (crystal)” on the inside now, but externally carrying on the outward mantle of her teacher/master Luke.

Which leads me to: by now, you’ve probably heard the theory that the last name “Skywalker” might transform to a term for the henceforth new Jedi. Personally, I am a fan of this theory. I think it would be useful for keeping the Star Wars eras straight when referencing any potential future Star Wars films/books/comics. For example, instead of saying “post-Skywalker trilogies,” one could say this-or-that takes place during the Jedi era or the new Skywalker era, etc (as well as, hopefully, the Knights of the Old Republic era someday soon).

AND, if Rey dubs herself (and perhaps any future students she has) a Skywalker….then, well, oddly enough, it would fulfill the whole Rey is a Skywalker discussion in the most interesting way possible. (While also keeping the plot open for her to choose whomever *coughcough* Ben Solo *coughcough* she would like to romantically be with someday.) It could potentially mean anyone could be a Skywalker. I’m a Skywalker. You’re a Skywalker. We’re Skywalker. Sign me up.

Luke is everybody’s spiritual father. (And I guess Vader is everybody’s grandfather??)

And, on a kinda odd note, being a Caravan-of-Courage-baby and a long-time SW fan, thinking of the name Skywalker, does anyone else think it sounds like a talent? Or is my brain just connecting Moonwalking with Skywalking? I guess, technically, Rey isn’t Skywalking here, right? It’s more like Skyjumping? Skyflipping? Maybe she’s really a Skyflipper. Part dolphin.

But I slightly digress, back to the trailer.

When this scene hit, I initially thought, from a distance, the TIE was a TIE bomber. Haha, silly me. 

I have fond memories of the TIE bomber toys Revan/Devan had as a kid.

Yay, Lawrence of Arabia will be returning to theaters Sept. 1st and 4th, presented by TCM! I did a middle school history report over Lawrence. Mostly because I wanted to learn about desert warfare so I could write better Star Wars fan fiction. It’s all about Star Wars, people. It always has been.

Now, that’s what I call TIE racing!

Sweet butter tacos, by now I have paused these scenes over and over trying to decide if this is Kylo Ren and/or if the scenes match or they’ve been sliced much like the TLJ trailer. 

HAHA. You trailer editor people are so good. You did it just enough to make me crazy until December. THANKS.

But, I guess it’s safe to say, in this sequel trilogy, when the camera zooms to black gloves, it’s probably Kylo.

Gee, these two just can’t flirt normally. It’s like they thought, “Oh what can we do on our date that hasn’t been done before?” “Oh, I know, let’s play chicken with the TIE Fighter!”

No, in all seriousness, as it’s been said before many times now, this would be a really strange way to try to take Rey out…

Wouldn’t Kylo be a man and just face her? He hasn’t been afraid to face people before.

And, I don’t know…some people I know are hoping that they are working together somehow, which I hope they are, don’t get me wrong,…but at the moment, I just can’t think of why Rey would need to jump on a TIE Fighter/Kylo’s TIE. (Mind out of the gutter!) I mean, if they are working together, practicing even, for some Force trick/feat that needs doing to destroy or infiltrate something, it looks like she could have climbed on the TIE before it took off?

I mean the Interwebs might tell you that she needs to practice her jumping so she can have the high ground later, but I still don’t know.

It could be a dream/vision. Simple enough.

It could be that ForceTime is acting really weird?

Did we really understand or have all the rules of ForceTime in TLJ? Could it be if ForceTime connects and Rey and Kylo hold-on to another they can pull each other to a different location? So for instance, if Rey jumps on the TIE she could be transported to where Kylo is?

That would mean there was a reason Luke told them to stop. Did he know either Kylo would be pulled to Ahch-To in the flesh or Rey would end up at the First Order (before she totally left in the Falcon for the First Order)?

Dunno. That could be getting too “beam-me-up-Scotty” or too “magical” for SW. We’ll see. I’m open to most things so long as they’re done well.

Alternatively, because Caps and I have also been reading SW comics for a few years now, I think it’s also possible that Kylo could be possessed here. 

As in, someone:

Like monkey-hands here, or whomever monkey-hands works for (Palps, Hux, The Resistance, KOR), took Kylo’s helmet and added Sith-y stuff to it.

I want to lean towards the idea of an enemy/frenemy of Kylo’s changing his helmet. I thought it was a little unusual that Kylo would go back to wearing the helmet after smashing it. I mean, character-wise, I figured it would remind him of Snoke’s taunts. It seemed like a step backward. Like going back to a security blanket after you’ve gotten over needing it. Dunno, are they going to capture him and force him to wear it? Making him Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs to get him out of the way?

BUT, there again, I guess, I could stretch my imagination and believe that Kylo, might, might, go back to wearing his helmet on his own, if he thought there was some power or knowledge to be gained. And, either, earnestly, he did it to himself or it was a TRAP!

And possibly, in this scene, possessed Kylo is about to crash wherever Rey is, but she saves him by cutting open the hatch, etc? 

(She’s learned to lift rocks, but could she stop a TIE via the Force and climb in and save someone? Maybe, but it, arguably, wouldn’t look as cool or dramatic). And if that were the case, Kylo would be in some serious debt to Rey for saving his life. Girl already spared him once. Twice, if you count she didn’t run him through on Starkiller Base.

Anyways, back to reviewing the trailer chronologically.

Somehow this reminds me of the Lost City of Atlantis. Was there a city on Bespin below Cloud City? According to Wookiepedia Bespin is a cloudy place. Sooo, could be Lando’s entrance in the movie, possibly.

Did I read somewhere that Kylo is tackling a Knight of Ren here? (Double checked and yes.) That’s interesting. I could come up lots of out-of-the-hat-theories as to why. KOR turns against him. Kylo turns against KOR. KOR Civil War? KOR Battle Royale where the survivor of the Hunger Games gets to be Master?

But what’s really interesting, is the fact that Kylo doesn’t slice the guy in two pieces with the lightsaber.

And that, to me, also spawns some theories. Is the tackle just a cinematic scene to show Kylo’s strength? Maybe Disney doesn’t want to go “Darth Maul-ing” people in two pieces? Kylo, for some reason, isn’t killing people on this particular day or any more at all? Or Kylo’s in a super rush and is more focused on getting a certain location in a hurry and whatever, guy was in the way? It made me concerned, mmm, can’t Kylo use the Force in this scene? He isn’t Force Pushing or Freezing the guy?

This week on “This Old Helmet,” Norm and guys add detailing to a once dilapidated helmet. Yup, it was a real fixer-upper. If Mr. Monkey doesn’t work for some VIP, he’s a really strange janitor.

Ok, Finn and Poe are going to, canon, start a boy band in TROS, right? This is a scene from their KPOP-ish music video, right? “‘Cause I want it that way…” If they don’t dance, so help me Star Wars...I’ll make them in a fanvid.

To be honest, I’m not sure if I like D/O yet. The jury is still out for me. Mostly because I thought some of the other concept designs were much cuter. Although, I can’t wait to see the Droid Builders tackle this one. I’m still stuck on a mouse droid.

Aww, yeah, welcome back Lando! Mr. Smoothie! (I wish he’d been apart of TFA and TLJ, but better late than never.) I know, I know the ship should be Chewie’s now, but I secretly hope that Lando is able to donate money to restore the Falcon, like an old classic car. *coughcough* Reylo Wedding Gift *coughcough*

Hmm, moisture farm or temple? Guess we’ll see. I’m loving that the troops possibly have jetpacks and/or sand-speeders?

Dunno, after the whole Rambo C3P0 poster, I’m wondering if someone’s after C3P0 here? BB and R2 have had their “find-that-droid” day, maybe it’s C3P0’s turn?

Aww, the medal. Sweet medal. 

I can give you some out-of-the-hat ideas about this, too. Maybe this is Han’s. Maybe it’s in Leia’s collection of memories and she takes it out for nostalgia, to feel close to Han in spirit, or for the anniversary of his death. Maybe she’s decided to give it to someone else? Or, worst-case scenario, the Resistance needs gold and this is all they got left?

Or, this is Luke’s? And ditto on everything. Maybe Luke left it behind before he left for Ahch-To? Maybe he gave it back to Leia? Or maybe Leia and company find more of Luke’s belongings elsewhere? Maybe Luke was using it as a bookmark in one of the Jedi Texts?

Goodness. When the trailer hit Celebration, this scene filled my heart with the greatest bittersweet joy. 

I’m really glad that the extra/reworked footage of Carrie as Leia looks good. That it will uphold her legacy. It’s been on my mind ever since her passing.

In fact, I was so caught up in being happy that the footage looks great, at first, I didn’t stop to think why Leia and Rey are hugging?

And, at first, I was so vicariously being Rey while watching the trailer, hugging Leia with my own emotional fan tear, that I didn’t consider why is Rey crying?

Well, theory-wise it could be a number of things. Rey and Leia have really bonded, and maybe Rey’s about to go on a dangerous mission? Or the Resistance has had a major setback?

But, I think one of the biggest, most emotional, thing both Rey and Leia have in common is:

Yup. Benny Boy.

And, this thought/feeling opens up a whole new can.

Um, have they heard something about Kylo/Ben that’s upsetting? And, if so, would this scene take place early or late in the film? I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that Kylo/Ben might not be making it out of this one entirely. Dunno, to me, it almost feels like Rey’s upset that she’s failed at something. I guess, especially, because it’s extra/reworked footage of the reaction to Han’s death.

Again, with the band! It’s like a 90s Alternation Rock cover!

My question is: What is in Rey’s hand? Is it a bag? What’s in the bag? Is she carrying the Jedi text or some other special item? Is it a device? What sort of device?

Have they all been camping? ‘Cause Finn and Poe have bags, too. Do they got thermal detonators in there?

I’m assuming, since they look more angry/focused than shocked, that their on some sort of mission to find this broken piece of Death Star II? That their purpose is to go inside? Or destroy the rest of it? Either way, if I learned anything from Wind Waker, it doesn’t look like a good day for sailing towards it.

Now, in the split second when Luke says “no one’s ever really gone” again…I wanted to believe we were going to get a Force Ghost reveal. Or that possibly, the-Force-killed-Luke was just social media red herring.

I never dreamed that laugh….

Chilled me to the bone.

The biggest “oh Sh*$” moment of my movie trailer watching life.

 Ooo the possibilities. More thoughts on Emperor Palps’ return later.

Until then my Reylos and Star Wars friends, May The Force Be With You!

[tessatechaitea]

The New Titans #60

First time in my comic book reading history that I noticed how much Nightwing's symbol looks like the torso of a woman in a skimpy top.

It's difficult beginning a new New Titans comic book when I'd let myself believe I was finished reading them all. It's especially difficult to keep reading this comic book when the first page includes this warning:

You don't have to tell me twice!

Apparently my brain disagreed with its first assessment that the comic book didn't need to tell me twice because it reread the warning and idiotically read it correctly this time.

Dammit! Why did I already read Batman #440?! Now I'm practically locked into reading this!

Looking on the bright side for the second time in my life (the first time was when I realized that when I die, it'll most likely be in some horrible accident in which I won't have time to register that my life is ending and therefore I'll never actually know I've died, easing swiftly into the loving embrace of non-existence!), I thought, "Well, Batman #440 was written by Wolfman and it was a decent read. How terrible can this comic book be?!" But that pleasant thought was completely undone when the first panel reminded me of something I had yet to consider:

Fuck. Cyborg was still alive at this time. I'm fucking bored already!

Well, looking on the bright side who loves seeing a character yell "Booyah!" constantly, this comic book should be a real treat! I do feel a little bit of white guilt creeping in around the corners when I voice my indifference of the most boring character in the DC Universe because he's black. Especially with Donald Trump's recent explicitly racist tweets and the GOP's rush to hide behind other members of the GOP in the hopes that they won't have to shrug apathetically on camera when asked about the tweets. But it's not my fault that DC Comics chose to make their most boring character an American black man! Would it help if I said some of my favorite DC characters were black? Nope. Just heard how that sounds. Not better! Paragraph breaks don't do as much heavy lifting as I need them to. Sometimes after I've written some commentary, I'll wander off to another part of the Internet to take in some sights. Then when I come back, I sometimes want to discuss what I've just experienced. But going from one paragraph to another, readers just think they're reading it in real time as I wrote it. What I need are paragraph breaks that represent the amount of time I was away (but not what I was doing while I was away or they'd all be variations on "Gone five minutes. Jerked off to Sailor Moon porn where Rei surprises Usagi in the shower and teaches her how to masturbate" or "Gone ten minutes. Watched an erotic massage video and spent most of the time fiddling with the sound so the downstairs neighbors couldn't hear it. Turns out 3 out of 100 is still to loud for some women's orgasms" or "Gone three days. Couldn't take reading another Wolfman New Titans comic book and wound up just playing thirty games of Apex"). Between the last paragraph and this one, I went on Twitter where Andy Richter posted Fats Domino's version of The Beatles' "Lady Madonna." My only response after hearing it was, "Holy fuck." Seriously, I never want to hear The Beatles' shit version ever again! I also just noticed in the above panel, Cyborg accidentally stuck his penis plug-in to the side of his face! Whoops! Back in 1989, Cyborg wasn't capable of contacting anybody in the DC Universe immediately. So he's having trouble finding Dick Grayson. He tried his pager and...well, that's about it! It was 1989! If somebody wasn't sitting by their phone, you didn't have many other options when trying to contact them! This is probably one of the moments where much later DC editors looked back at Cyborg and realized he needed to be more powerful. I'm not arguing that he definitely needed to be more than a white noise gun that said "Booyah!" but they could have realized he needed to be interesting as well. Hell, it's not long after this issue that Marv Wolfman completely gives up on him and smashes him into bits. Having no other options but to risk exposing Batman's secret identity by putting calls to Wayne Manor on the Titans phone records, Cyborg gives Bruce a call. I'd understand interrupting Batman's hectic life if the world were on fire but the big emergency right now is that some weird kid looking for Dick visited Kory while she was practically naked (no wait. She had a towel on after showering so her body was more covered than usual). Batman is busy dealing with Two-Face even though it's the middle of the day. I think maybe Alfred lied to Cyborg. I bet Batman's taking a shit. Dick has gone back to Haly's Circus to find himself.

I bet these two clowns are actually old white land developers responsible for the circus failing! Their next trick will be to dress up like ghosts and zombies to scare everyone away!

A third clown named Harry comes out of a tent and passes out in Dick's arms. Can you imagine blacking out as a clown? You'd probably wake up in an unknown tent with no make-up covered in lion spit and shame. Dick meets with Haly and is all, "I read about the circus closing down and I couldn't figure out why. But now that I'm here, I totally get it!" And Haly is all, "Fuck you, Dick! You try running a circus in 2019! I mean 1989! Oh, yeah, I guess I should probably still have been able to trick idiots into thinking freak sideshows and abusing animals was still cool." Haly actually blames the failing of his circus on too much TV and too many video games. Obviously Super Mario, Tecmo Bowl, and Duck Hunt (hee hee! You thought, "Cunt!") were way more fun and interesting than sitting in a smelly tent being terrorized by people in greasy face paint but Haly really should take a little responsibility for his own business failings. Dick arrives and in ten minutes, he's already washed an elephant and kept a drunk clown from breaking his neck. Maybe get off your ass, Harry Haly, and fix up your shit. Haly also mentions that there's been a rash of accidents that have kept the selling price of the circus down. I bet it was those fucking clowns!

He's talking about his penis so yes, Dick, he has to ask.

While at Haly's Circus, Dick Grayson witnesses the origin of Clown Batman!

Later, after Bozo Wayne grew to an adult and was wondering what direction to take, a clown crashed through his window.

Tensions are running high at the Haly Circus as some performers want to circus to be sold so they can move on and others just want things to remain unchanged.

Finally, a clown that makes me laugh!

During the show later, Wilhelm the lion tamer gets his throat ripped out before Dick can save him. Dick was disguised as a clown so Wilhelm probably bled out as Dick was struggling to take off the stupid shoes. Tim Drake is in the audience watching because he's smarter than the entire Titans team put together. Later, Tim and Dick team up to find out who's been sabotaging Haly's Circus. It turns out it was the little person and the strong man. So typical! It's totally who I thought it was and not those two clowns from earlier. That was just a red herring I was throwing out to confuse you. The team-up doesn't make me like Tim Drake any better. But then Tim makes an admission that warms my heart and I can't help but love the kid.

Wolfman knew what he was doing.

At the end of the day, Dick Grayson buys half of Haly's Circus to help keep it afloat (with Bruce's money). Then Tim shows him the pictures of Batman battling Ravager that he took in Batman #440. He pleads with Dick to go back to help Batman cope with the death of Jason Todd. "Batman needs Robin!" he argues like a nerd doing his thesis on Batman's inexplicable need to endanger minors. Dick takes the kid seriously because who else has ever figured out that Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are Batman and Robin?! Only the smartest man on Earth and he won't do that for another twenty five years! The New Titans #60 Rating: B+. Apparently it's the Titans that make the Titans comic book suck. Concentrating on Dick Grayson and his relationship with Batman and the circus (and even this new upstart kid that loves Dick) causes Marv Wolfman to be at his best! My guess is that it's the lack of Cyborg that really makes the book shine.

[bountyofbeads]

How Donald Trump silenced the people who could expose his business failures

https://wapo.st/2F3H3rF

"As a businessman, Trump used threats & intimidation to keep his true financial situation from being accurately reported on, including efforts to stay on the Forbes list by threatening to out a closeted gay executive. Past is prologue." Joyce Vance

Jonathan Greenberg's latest Trump expose in today's Washington Post; how the deceiver in chief suppresses the truth and truth tellers. #DontheCon, #ImpeachTrump

How Donald Trump silenced the people who could expose his business failures

By Jonathan Greenberg | Published June 14 at 6:00 AM ET | Washington Post | Posted June 18, 2019 |

How did Donald Trump, a self-serving promoter who lost billions of dollars for his investors, convince the world that he is a financial genius? It wasn’t just by fabricating tales of his success. It was also by bullying and silencing people who could have stopped those deceits — particularly reporters and Wall Street analysts — forcing all but a very few into a conspiracy of silence.

These tactics, which form a core element of his politics, were something I saw him hone firsthand in the 1980s and 1990s as Trump’s company was imploding.

I was the lead real estate wealth estimator for the Forbes 400 list in its early years. Trump called me twice in 1984, posing as his fictional “VP of finance” John Barron and professing the kind of riches that ought to land him on the list, despite failing to document them. So when a New York Times exposé last month showed that Trump had lost $1.1 billion between 1985 and 1994, I looked back at my archives and began calling old colleagues to compare these figures with what Trump was telling journalists three decades ago.

First, I turned up three never-before-published letters from Trump to Forbes from 1989, in which he claimed to be worth $3.7 billion. We now know that he reported losses of about $100 million that year and that he was treading near insolvency. Then I started to contact other people who had collided with Trump in those years. Journalists told me how he’d tried to block their reporting on his empire — by making up ethical scandals about them, furnishing fake documents and, in one case, threatening to expose the private life of a closeted media executive. Wall Street analysts witnessed a campaign of intimidation that began when Trump got one of them fired for (correctly) doubting his casinos’ ability to pay off their debts.

Even while he was suffering tremendous financial setbacks — and precisely because he was suffering those setbacks — these efforts show Trump in the desperate act of spinning a mythology about himself (rich) that would sweep aside the facts (broke). And he did it by imperiling the livelihood of his doubters, silencing them and inducing a chilling effect both in the press and among the very people who are supposed to protect investors from terrible gambles like Trump’s businesses. If this self-promotion scheme had failed, Trump would never have become a reality-TV-starring symbol of business acumen. He would have skulked off into anonymity or ignominy, just another failed real estate developer and speculator.

Instead, he fooled the world. Although he’d struggle for the rest of his career to get most legitimate banks to extend credit, the gambit basically worked: It turned him, rather than his empire, into the product, enabling decades of tabloid coverage, countless eponymous goods from casinos to steaks to airlines, dozens of film and TV cameos, and ultimately his image-defining show, “The Apprentice.” It made a man with limited business savvy and less money than he claimed into someone famous for having a surfeit of both. These early (and shockingly impudent) fabrications built one of the greatest brands in American history — one that made Trump a household name and, eventually, president.

In mid-1989, as his real estate empire was secretly drowning in debt, Trump wrote three letters to Forbes Senior Editor Harold Seneker, who was responsible for overseeing the wealth list. The first, dated April 25, 1989, came with two deceptive documents: One was similar to the outrageously inflated listing of the value of his assets that Trump gave to Deutsche Bank as he sought a loan in 2014 to buy the NFL’s Buffalo Bills. The 1989 file noted that the sums listed were “NET OF MORTGAGES OR DEBT,” and it showed $3,734,000,000 for the total value of Trump’s empire. This figure included “cash and cash equivalents” of $693 million and marketable securities of $214 million.

The other attachment was a “review of the statement of financial condition” letter from Richard L. Robbins, an accountant and senior vice president at accounting firm Arthur Andersen & Co., dated April 10, 1989, attesting to the fact that, as of Nov. 30, 1988, Trump possessed $700,125,000 in “cash and cash equivalents, marketable securities . . . and the remaining cash proceeds from bond issuance and capital contributions.” In his signed letter accompanying these documents, Trump summed it up by writing: “I know that you would be the first to agree that anyone with in excess of $849 million in cash ($700 million plus $149 after paying off the St. Moritz mortgage) is not a person who is ‘highly leveraged.’ Additionally, being a student of financial history, I have relatively low amounts of financing on my assets and, more importantly, personally guarantee nothing.” Robbins declined to comment for this article.

Why was the Arthur Andersen “review” done five months before its Trump account executive sent the letter? Because, unbeknownst to Forbes, just eight days before Nov. 30, 1988, Trump received $675 million in cash proceeds from a junk bond that Merrill Lynch sold to unlucky investors, with all of the funds earmarked for acquiring and completing the Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City. Trump shouldn’t have claimed this as his own cash, as he appeared to be doing. But that’s what he told Forbes, and anyone else who would listen.

Still, Seneker suspected that Trump’s cash position was overstated, so he wrote back, asking why Trump had listed only assets and not debts. Trump replied the next month with more lies. “My cash balances are high because I am fiscally conservative. The debt which I have is against individual assets and is not personally guaranteed.” He was claiming that the properties themselves and the Trump Organization were the collateral backing up his assets — that he had no personal liability. In truth, Trump was on the hook for $125 million at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan, according to “Trump Revealed,” an investigative biography by Michael Kranish and Marc Fisher of The Washington Post. This was part of a package of personal guarantees totaling $900 million that would come crashing down around him as his Atlantic City projects imploded.

Knowing that the final estimates for the Forbes 400 list of America’s richest people were calculated in August, Trump sent a third letter in July 1989 bragging that the Plaza was worth double what he paid for it and that his Atlantic City casinos were worth more than $1.5 billion each. Forbes had spent several years radically overstating the value of Trump’s holdings, as recent reporting has shown; the magazine accepted too many of the mogul’s claims. That year, Forbes estimated his worth as $1.7 billion, even though Trump’s leaked tax returns show a $100 million loss, meaning any investor who could have seen them would have viewed Trump’s real estate empire as a money-losing liability, not a group of income-producing assets. (Trump now says these losses reflected depreciation, not the value of his holdings.)

The next year, 1990, would prove to be the year the facade collapsed. But with an eye toward salvaging his future reputation, Trump waged a startlingly effective campaign to suppress the truth about his failures as a businessman. That effort took several forms.

That spring, Forbes Senior Editor Richard Stern and contributor John Connolly prepared a cover story based on a document leaked from the New Jersey Casino Control Commission, which showed the debt load of all of Trump’s properties, as well as a Wall Street analyst’s calculation that the Taj Mahal needed to net $1.3 million every day just to stay afloat. The reporters estimated that Trump’s true net worth figure was less than zero.

On the Monday of the week the story was to be published, Stern met with Trump to seek a comment he could include in the article. The mogul exploded, threatening to sue Forbes. On Tuesday, “orders came from on high” to change the story’s estimate of Trump’s net worth to $500 million, Stern recalls. “I got into a shouting match with [Jim] Michaels,” Forbes’s powerful top editor, Stern says. “Forbes bent. We had to jigger the numbers to give Trump a positive net worth.” (Michaels died in 2007.) Connolly says the cover line was also changed, from “Is Trump Broke?” to “How Much Is Donald Really Worth Now?,” which is how it appeared on May 14, 1990.

Michaels told Connolly this was because Trump was threatening to embarrass the Forbes family by claiming that publisher Malcolm Forbes, who had died a few months earlier, ordered a hit piece because Trump had supposedly blocked the 70-year-old magazine owner from bringing two male companions under the legal drinking age into the Plaza Hotel bar. (A gay news magazine had outed Malcolm Forbes shortly after his death that February, though the claim was not widely circulated; Trump possessed a much louder megaphone with which to humiliate the Forbes family.) Stern does not recall this and believes that editors simply feared a Trump lawsuit.

Even then, Trump was not satisfied with his victory. Connolly and Stern’s story interrupted the mogul’s narrative around the opening of the world’s largest casino. Trump retaliated by making last-minute changes to the text of his August 1990 book, “Surviving at the Top,” to recount the alleged bar spat and say that Malcolm Forbes “lived openly as a homosexual . . . but expected the media and his famous friends to cover for him.” After editors removed him from the annual Forbes 400 in late September (estimating that his net worth by that time had fallen below the $260 million cut-off), Trump elaborated on his accusation in a Los Angeles Times op-ed headlined “Forbes Carried Out Personal Vendetta in Print.” Trump wrote that, after the supposed bar incident, Malcolm Forbes “called and screamed at me, saying that I’d treated him shabbily, embarrassed him publicly — and that he would get even with me,” Trump wrote. “It was only a few weeks later that I got word that Forbes magazine was planning a cover story on me.”

[act-novel]

Development Notes #3 | First Layer, Two Weeks Later

Note: This post was originally published on act-novel.itch.io on March 14th, 2023. It has been carried over to this blog for posterity.

Hello, this is Garrett Thompson, sole member of Act-Novel. 

At this time of writing, it has been two weeks since Version 1 of Reality Layer Zero was uploaded to itch.io. I think now is a good time to go over how the game's been doing in that period, and how the development of the second layer is progressing in the meantime.

- Lead-up to Release -

Oh no!

The night before February 28th (the day I declared would be the release day for the first layer in the previous Development Notes entry), I uncovered a number of late-breaking issues with the then-release-candidate build. Specifically, I found four critical issues in three separate corners of the code. Two of the four were related to the deck editor (pictured above), one was related to the "continue" option on the main menu (you couldn't select "continue" if you only had an autosave file saved-- clearly a bug!), and one was related to the end-of-layer savegame prompt (which would save your game... and then promptly crash it if you had more "cleared" save files than "in-progress" save files on your hard drive). 

I was up pretty late fixing all of those the night they turned up. As I'll mention later, this wasn't quiiiite the extent of the "critical errors" in version 1... But it was pretty close, I think.

- Release Day -

It's been a while since I last uploaded a project to itch (hey, what could this be?), but fortunately the actual deployment process isn't too complicated. I basically just zipped the game files, pointed Butler at 'em, and that was that. In retrospect, I may have zipped too many files-- most of the game's music is actually in the deployed zip archive twice-- once in the packed "data" file (which the game actually uses) and once in an external "Audio/music" folder (which... I'm pretty sure doesn't even get looked at by the game code, but which you can use to listen to outside of the game... y'know, if you want to...) Since this makes the zip file bigger than it needs to be, it may be necessary to remove the external audio in later updates-- both to avoid scaring people off with a large initial download and to potentially get around having to ask itch directly for more upload space (not that I think they wouldn't grant me that, just out of courtesy). 

The actual day of release was a mostly-quiet affair. Most of the traffic the game page saw was from the post I made on the itch community forums, and from links I sent to various friends and acquaintances who did not participate in the Steam beta. For day 1,  I was fine with this, since I mostly just wanted to sleep and not think about Reality Layer Zero too much. In the coming days, though...

- In the coming days, though... -

Ded. (Suspiciously-cropped graph?)

For the first five days following release, Reality Layer Zero garnered 87 page views and 10 downloads. 2 of those downloads were both me, downloading the game on different machines to make sure the files were uploaded successfully, and at least two others were from people who I know directly, so really it was more like 6 downloads. Now, while that's not zero, it was less than half of the number of people who participated in the Steam beta test. Aside from being a bit disappointed at having made something ostensibly unpopular, I was also skeptical that the practical purpose of the itch release-- which was to hopefully catch errors before releasing the first layer into the wild as a Steam demo-- would be successfully fulfilled. 

So basically I stared posting to Reddit. This is sort of bad etiquette on my part, since I'm not very active on Reddit and a lot of my post history is, well, posting about my other projects-- but I followed the rules otherwise and generally posted high-effort content (either custom video edits or, in the case of r/games, an appropriately-formatted and tagged self-post), and in short, nobody seemed to mind too much. 

This started to drive some traffic toward the Reality Layer Zero itch page. Not a lot, just some. The click-through-rate was *very* low from Reddit to Itch, but pageviews and downloads both were undeniably better than on previous days. On both March 6th and March 8th, Reality Layer Zero was downloaded nine times, and for all other days in the period between the 5th and the 11th, between one and three times. In a less confusing way of putting that, 12 days after launch, the game had garnered 45 downloads and 446 pageviews. At this point, I considered things were doing alright.

- Patching, Continued Development -

Technically, this isn't a gameplay spoiler since this guy actually got moved since this screenshot was taken! 

During this period of sustained promotion, a player was kind enough to bring a crash in the deck editor to my attention. This was the other critical error I alluded to earlier in this post. I'm pretty sure Paulby knew about me from the Applewood days, so I'm not sure if I can chalk this event up as a direct consequence of the promotion or not, but it was nevertheless precisely the thing I wanted to see-- well, perhaps not "wanted", per-se, but, uh... It's the second-best possible outcome! (the first being, of course, the mythical bug-free program) This, as well as several other errors and quality-of-life issues, were addressed in Reality Layer Zero's first patch.

Also during this period, I found some time to start working on the art for the second layer. It took about five days, but I completed illustrations for all of the newly-obtainable argument cards currently planned for that layer. For card illustrations, the actual "illustration" part doesn't take *thaaaat* much time (due to the small canvas size), but figuring out an aesthetically-pleasing and thematically-appropriate composition can be quite time-consuming (and exhausting to boot). I'm looking forward to sharing these illustrations with players-- potentially you!-- when the second layer releases.  

I have also-- as of Sunday, anyway-- started back into character design and character art production. I would have liked to get started on this earlier in the month, but the demands of patching and post-release promotion caused me a bit of a delay. I'd estimate I'm about a week behind schedule versus where I'd be if I had not released anything. That... is honestly not a big deal.

--

So, all-told, what are we looking at? 50-ish downloads, one patch, and development progressing reasonably-smoothly on the second layer? In other words, not an amazing release, but a decently-productive one. A real workmanlike release. That was going to be my conclusion for this Development Notes entry... until Monday, that is!

- Rocket Fuel?? -

The full, uncropped graph.Gamecube startup jingle.

Starting on Monday of this week (March 13th, precisely yesterday) I noticed a change in views and downloads-- specifically an upward trajectory, seemingly out of nowhere. For a moment, I considered the possibility that Itch had frontpaged the game, but that wasn't what happened (not that I'd complain if it did).  

The best I can tell, the promotion I did on Reddit over the week leading up to Monday had an accumulatory effect on Reality Layer Zero's popularity ranking on Itch, and on Monday it finally boiled over to the point where people simply browsing popular games (both in genre tags like Card Game and in the general "popular games" section) would reasonably, and in tangible quantities, stumble upon the game and chance a click. Or at least that's the story that the analytics seem to tell. 

Another Reddit post (not made by me this time) was made during this period, but as far as I can tell had less of an impact than just the ambient traffic from the browse feature.

For a brief time-- possibly even now-- Reality Layer Zero actually surpassed games you've definitely heard of, like Deltarune and OneShot, in sitewide popularity. That's kind of nutty! It... probably won't stay that way for long! My prediction is that the game simply doesn't have a large-enough, dedicated-enough audience to sustain that level of interest for an extended period. I'd love to be wrong, of course, but for now I'm considering this just a temporary win.

Today has likewise been a pretty good day for traffic, although not as strong as Monday. Interest will... probably gradually return to baseline noise as the week continues. Hey, at least it was cool to watch this all happen in real time. 

- Future Work -

Aaaagh, DirectX!!

Thanks to the efforts of my irreplaceable friends doing some testing that I'd be unable to do on my own, it seems that a VRAM bottleneck has been discovered in the current build. This might not be true for all GPU's with similar specs, but it seems that 2GB VRAM DDR3's on systems running Windows 10 will struggle to run the game-- and crash in exterior scenes-- with odds being good that it's due to lack of available memory.  As it stands, it might be the case that at least a 3GB VRAM card is needed to run the current build-- or else one of those fancy "flexible memory" cards (e.g. the Intel Iris Xe) that I honestly don't know that much about. I'm going to try to optimize down to the 2GB DDR3 target-- my gut feeling is that a card with 2GB of VRAM ought to be able to run my simple 3D pixel game, so I probably just messed up somewhere. If you're currently rocking a 2GB card, sit tight! Hope hasn't died out for you! If you're working with even less... Well, dang.

- Conclusion -

It's been an eventful two weeks. Getting some attention after all of this time working in relative obscurity was a nice little reward for tolerating the many release-window annoyances that cropped up during this period. Although I'd still say "real" development has slowed down a little bit, it hasn't been by too much. While it's still too early to say whether the new players "like" the game or not, I have seen some good early signs...

I don't even know this guy! Probably!

Anyway, it's back to working on the second layer for me. In the meantime, why not try out the first layer for yourself if you haven't yet? You can also listen to the game's soundtrack on YouTube, if that's what you're about.

Thank you very much for reading!